World’s Greatest Roast

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Shaken and Stirred.”

A Long Time Ago…………..In a Galaxy Far Far Away…………………

Moth and I had recently started Dating and things were getting fairly serious. I thought it about time he ‘Met the Parents! ‘ Shock Horror right? Well it was all fairly simply I invited my parents over for Dinner, and of course we would spend a simple evening, just the four of us. My parents were pretty cool, no real issues with any of that.

Anyway so I went down to the local market, back in the day which had the Saturday morning sales as back then they didn’t open past 12noon on a Saturday and the closed for the whole weekend, which meant great specials (I didn’t have a lot of money back then). Anyway you know how markets get with everyone yelling out items and special prices and such; VERY noisy! I was attempting to talk to a butcher about what cut of meat I should get for our special dinner that night. He said he had just thing! and came back with some Beef all neatly wrapped up and a really good price. So very grateful, I did my remaining shopping and then dived back home to start getting everything ready.

Now I was not exactly an expert cook back then and had probably only ever cooked a few roasts in my life; sure I knew the basics and was not rattled, I knew this is one meal I could do! After an hour or so of cooking the meat was still red, looked like it wasn’t cooking. By this stage I was getting a little concerned so I ended up ringing Mum. Mum check over everything  I did, how big it was, oven temp, what time I put it on, how I had prepared the meat etc She asked what cut it was and I confessed I wasn’t really sure, the butcher had picked it out. A Little perplexed herself, She said perhaps it just needed a little longer to cook. Anyway not too long after that Moth arrived, to find me frazzled in the kitchen, my parents arrived shortly after that. Moth came into the kitchen (Not that he could cook!) and offered little help. My Mum came in the kitchen and went through the check list again, checked the roast and stabbed it several times and said it was not bleeding, but lest give it a little bit longer.

After another 30 minutes the edge of my amazing roast had started to burn, but it was still red? So I served it up anyway, the veggies by now were overcooked, and the whole meal was turning into a disaster. I was near tears, the whole night appeared set to be ruined. I took it out to the table were everyone was sitting, with tears in my eyes I announced dinner was served. My Dad and Moth attacked the plates of meat and veggies and taking a tentative bite, they both beamed at me and kept eating. Mum and I a little confused sample the fare before us…………..IT WAS SO SALTY!!!! “Oh My” exclaimed my Mum, and then burst out laughing. It turns out that the butcher had given me a cut of Corned Beef, not Roast. If you do not know what Corned Beef is it is very English and it is salted meet which is boiled, not roasted!!! I guess there had been a big miscommunication at the markets, or the butcher gave me the wrong parcel, but I had a large Corned Beef……….Roast not boiled!

I ended up giving the rest of the meat to Mum, who then boiled it – apparently made great Corned Beef! To this day it is still a running joke in my family, Moth and Dad still claim it is the greatest Roast I have ever cooked, and their hearts are still OK, so I couldn’t have overdosed them too much. Moth and Dad have been great mates since then, and my cooking has improved dramatically!

– Julz