The Perils of Pets

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Daring Do.”

Can’t say I have ever really done anything particularly daring, and I don’t think anything I have done could be considered heroism. I do however have a few tales of The Perils with Pets I thought I might share.

There was the Lilac Point Siamese who thought he could climb a tree and found himself stuck. I eventually convinced him to jump out of the tree into my arms to safety………unfortunately he did not jump straight down (where it would have been safe), he instead climbed higher and proceeded to hit his head on a branch on the way down, I then had to catch a cat who had been knocked out cold! Cat survived, 8 lives left!

Then there was the case of the curious pup who decided on a particularly hot day when his humans were out to try and eat cactus! He ended up with a cactus spine piercing his tongue…… may have looked cool to the other pups (adolescent boys always have to look tough don’t they?), but when his humans found him (just in time), he was extremely unwell and VERY dehydrated. Pup survived, albeit with an aversion to cactus!

And then the incredible super hero dog who thought his special power was eating ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING! he ate all the plants in the garden (big deal), he ate all the clothes from the washing line (also no big deal), pulled weatherboard paling from house and proceeded to eat them (not so great), then started chewing the corners off bricks on the garage (What The…?), then the final straw was when he found a treasure trove of lead which had been buried under the next door neighbors garage!! and Yes I did type LEAD, as in lead poisoning! (Did I mention he was also an escape artist?).

We raced him down the the animal hospital, which after a very costly vet bill, dog survived. ONLY to come home and do it again, repeatedly. Now I hear you saying get rid of the lead………every time we thought it was all gone, the damn dog managed to find more. Try confining him to the backyard you say, who could ever contain Houdini? We could not afford to keep taking him the vet, and as it turned out the vet was really only making him vomit it up and keep him hydrated, we could do that, surely……….and the Vet agreed.

The fun then became trying to make a rather large 80kg dog vomit! The vet suggested feeding him salt (he’s already eaten a lot of lead, how much damaged could salt do?) So we fed the dog a spoonful of salt. And waited. and waited………nothing happened the dog just sat there staring at us, wondering what we were up to. So we figured another spoonful right? That’s all it took; we poured more salt on a spoon in front of the dog and held it out to him……….he promptly vomited. Dog survived another day.

For many years all I had to do was pick up a salt container and the dog literally started dry retching and vomited, actually turned out very handy when you have a dog that thinks he can eat anything. It eventually became his undoing, but that’s a tale for another day.

I would love to say no animals were harmed during these events, but they did this to themselves and we did everything humanly possible to protect them, but as in children, pets will be pets. All listed above survived the incidences and lived largely happy safe lives after these events occurred.

– Julz