Do you hold grudges or do you
believe in forgive and forget?
Apparently it’s one of my least redeeming qualities (according to Moth), but yes I can hold a grudge, and hold it for a very long time! I don’t hold with the whole forgive and forget scenario on the biggies, sure little things like, who ate the last chocolate biscuit, or who forgot to empty the dishwasher………..that’s just life not pain, dishonesty, treachery, mistreatment, malice or bullying.
I can forgive and forget those little annoyances, it’s the big ones I can’t. Fool me once, shame on you…………you rarely (if ever) get a second shot. I guess it does not help that I often wear my heart on my sleeve, I have a (bad) habit of wanting to see the best in people, who have yet to prove themselves worthy, and I have a terrible time not taking insults personally. Some may call this passive – aggressive behaviour, but is it? Really?
It doesn’t mean I am plotting revenge, I don’t necessarily dwell on it (well sometimes I do), but once bittern I will never trust you again and in some cases I never want to see your face again. An Apology goes a long way, yes, in some circumstances I may forgive (depending on the person and the deed), but I will never forget. I can even come to an uneasy truce with certain people, because of family or other friends, just because I am polite, and don’t sit there plotting your downfall, don’t think I have forgiven nor forgotten your misdeed.
Don’t get me wrong I am not Saint Julie, I am not perfect and sure I stuff up from time to time, I (try to) admit when I am wrong and I apologize if I have hurt someone, or was not there to support them in their time of need, I missed a Birthday or anniversary. Sometimes we unintentionally hurt the ones we love, when we get caught up in our own life. But if you treat me badly, treat me as nothing but dirt, someone to take your crap, then you are looking at the wrong person.
I am also a big believer in Karma, sometimes she is slow, but she is methodical; you treat me like shit, it will come back on you ten fold. Hopefully I will be there to see it, but then if you are deemed not worthy to be in my life, I wont Ce sera sera!