This is a great new challenge by Desley and Frequently Flying Scientist, where she gives us a prompt every week from her KikkiK Journal, this week;
What would you attempt if you knew you couldn’t fail?
I guess it’s time for a little truth serum and then some internal soul searching. As you may or may not know about 18 months ago I was sick, very, very sick; weeks in hospital and months of recovery, but against the odds I did survive and have made a full recovery. Instead of throwing a pity party I made some life choices, this included stop being afraid and stop procrastinating and JUST DO IT (NIKE – my new slogan lol).
I was a born procrastinator, and lazy to boot, I wanted to do things but it was always too hard, or what if I fail. I learned that the worst thing is not death or failure, it’s not living! This is where my blogging and photography started, it was something I wanted to try, so what if I am no good, who is it hurting? But as it turns out I am quite good at least at photography, perhaps my blogging is mediocre, but enjoyable or perhaps my writing is tolerable but my pictures are pretty 🙂 .
I take photos because I want to, occasionally people throw money at me to take photos of them as well, this then lets me buys more toys. My graphic art is something else I have taken up with enthusiasm, more for fun. I have even had two pieces published in a small magazine (no pay lol). So in saying all of that, what is my point?
If I knew I could not fail, I would quit my job and become a full time photography, with a big fancy studio and graphic artist; for magazines, prints and maybe even console games etc. I have a big tendency to let things fall in my lap, I have been quite lucky in that regard, but I have not actively pursued work, nor attention. I guess I am still lazy and worry that perhaps my work isn’t good enough. Mediocrity is often worse than failing. If I had no talent (For instance I do love to sing, but I know I am tone deaf and could never make a living; people would pay me to shut the hell up! But I still sing in the car, shower occasionally in supermarkets).I am not very good with musical instruments either, I am ok with that………..but with graphic art and photography I am quite good, but am I as good as I think?
If I were to just put myself out there, submit more art work, enter competitions, advertise, apply myself more, have more faith in my abilites and creativity. I fear being mediocre more than I fear failing. It’s quite silly, I know. My new outlook on life has taken me figureatively and literally to places I never thought I would see. I have travelled and met people I would have never have met if I didn’t JUST DO IT.I will climb a hill and get on a plane (I’m not good with heights), I even got on a helicopter last year……….just so I could get some amazing photos! My husband and I have never had so much fun……..and yet I still have that little voice in my head saying “Are you dumb? You aren’t that good, stop kidding yourself. Go back to hiding your head in the sand and let the world move on without you. Let the REAL artists create the REAL art and you can go back to playing in the kiddie pool”. In fact I had someone say that to my face, not so long ago, they wanted a real artist – lol. It hurt at the time, but you know what? I just don’t care anymore. If I am not that good………….so what? It is not the end of the world, as long as I am having fun and hurting nobody – it’s all good.
-Julz
Nice textures.
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thanks
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You’re welcome.
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Gorgeous photo and so happy you are better and taking such world class photos!
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thanks Cindy, we are all still our own worst enemies though, aren’t we?
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so happy for your recovery and philosophy!!
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thanks Cybele
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I think true art is seen first by those that create it, and critiqued by those that cannot do as they wished they had…created a beautiful piece of living work that can touch the soul of the individual. You can and in fact do that often. I know, because I’m an artist and I find myself studying your photographs. Your words. Your life’s work. So be brave, embrace the beauty of yourself. It already shows in all you do. You just need to see that what you create is living inside you.
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thank you, it feels good to get support from within your own community. I do try to embrace myself, but we are often our own worst enemy, self doubt is an evil which lurks within most of us.
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And beyond that I’m so glad you’re well. 💜
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again, thanks
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Wonderful post. I applaud your take on life. There is so much truth in it.
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Thanks Marie
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I loved Salzburg. What a beautiful city. You are lucky to have lived there.
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hehehe I think this comment was meant for someone else?
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Oops. You are so right.
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that’s OK it would be cool to live in Salzberg, but I don’t hehehe
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I’m glad you got better and decided to change your life. This is a very thought provoking post that speaks to us all. I hardly took a picture for years (despite enjoying photography) because I was convinced I was not ‘good enough’. One of my first posts ‘Regrets…’ was about finally getting over those self-imposed restrictions. I’m not completely there though – for example, I’ve never bought a decent camera, partly because I would be ashamed to be seen with it.
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Thanks. It’d hard for a lot of us I think. The camera….it’s what you do with it more than how fancy it is, I know that now. But you can do a lot more with a decent camera. You owe it to yourself, hire one for a weekend and see what you think
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Good on you Julz. What you say here resonates with me completely. I started photography first because I needed to change my lifestyle and then blogging to see if I was any good at photography! It was SO nerve-wracking putting My photos out there for the very first time but I’m so happy that I did. I agree – it’s fear of mediocrity. We want to be good at what we do and more specifically good at what we love. It would suck to love something and be terrible at it (I’m with you on singing – love it, but not for human consumption, GG is fine with it 😊). Thank you for sharing your truth, it’s difficult but so good to share. I’m sorry you weren’t well, I didn’t know about that. So glad you’re better now and so glad you dove into photography and graphic design because you ROCK at it!
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:-), this has been such a great topic, difficult yes, but the support and response I have received is staggering and humbling. It’s funny how similar so many of us are, even though we are in some cases 1,000 miles apart, and from very different parts of the world, by distance and culture. It’s Nice………thanks DJ
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It really is nice isn’t it?! I’m so happy to see everyone opening up so much. It’s so thought-provoking. I had a very light-hearted one picked for next week but I am re-thinking it. I think this WP community is absolutely awesome. X
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it sure is………….night
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Night Julz.
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Your work is amazing. I have really enjoyed seeing it
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Thanks Raewyn
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I have been impressed by your work several times. Really amazing stuff, so don’t sell yourself short. I get it though. I have nearly all the same thoughts: not that great, who are you kidding… I think its a fine line between feeling confident and cocky. We don’t want to be cocky or arrogant because we still need to learn things. Yet, we should be proud of the things we do create. There are tons of amazing artists out there. This is true, yet, it should not diminish what we create. And I have found that when I let go of caring and just dive into something, I can create something I love. It’s nice if others love it (and pay for it), but regardless, I feel good about my creation:) So I am happy to hear you are not caring and just living with passion! Seize the day and embrace all that you can do:)
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Thanks Michele…. It’s amazing to know that so many people feel the same way….it’s comforting
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Yes, I think most of us are not as confident as we should be or would like to be. So, all we can do is do all we can to improve every day and pour our passion into our lives. If it’s good enough for ourselves and loved ones….than hey, what more could we want? Well. I guess we could want fame, fortune and unicorns. But let’s not be greedy, lol.
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OHHHHHH I want a unicorn! lol
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I know! How could THAT not look good on your deck?
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bwhahahaha I know right? Freee pony (oops I mean Unicorn) rides for everyone
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Count me in!
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