Every week Desley from Musings from a frequent flying scientist does a post with an often thought provoking prompt from her KikkiK journal.
For week 7, here is the prompt: What quality is most important to you in a friend?
Desley wrote about loyalty, and I admit I have to concur. As children we make friends easily and at times not well, but bickering is often considered acceptable among children; who don’t quite have all the social graces of adults. However, I have found that SOME adults have do not have the social graces or even morals of small children.
I am a caregiver and often an enabler….eh I admit it; I am the Mothering type and I offer myself too readily to people. I am not sure if that is good or bad. I see good in people, until they prove other wise. Often that is a bad move. I have learnt that there are a lot of people out there who are only after their best interests and care none for yours. If you cannot give them what they think they want or need then you are of no use to them. Or they befriend you until you have served your purpose and then you are discarded. They also have a knack of making you feel like it is your fault.
I guess these days I have learnt to make acquaintances easily, but often keep them at a slight distance until they have earned my trust, it sounds horrible, but I think I am not the only one. I have met a lot of people I like, and would like to open up to them, but feel I am sharing or giving away too much of myself. I have trusted people who have been in my life for years and then BAM! kicked in the teeth and for reasons I cannot fathom, these are the ones that hurt the most. Where was the loyalty, where was the love, the bond, the friendship? But you need to start somewhere and as adults we often have our own heart aches, our own back stories and baggage and it can get more difficult to make friends as we get older. But you have to start somewhere, right?
I have a few close friends, real friends who I trust with my life and my heart…..I can pick up the phone any time and know they will be there. I have other friends who I socialise with and talk too, nice friendly socially acceptable stuff; these are great friendships to have as well, sometimes they come and go, some have turned into lifelong friendships, that evolved over time. I try not to be judgmental, and I try to find and meet people with similar interests and even a similar sense of humour, some people find me a bit weird I guess…….I have such a dry, black sense of humour on occasion. Most of all I try not to give away too much of myself early on…………once bitten, twice shy.