Firstly let me just say the circumstances beyond my control, it appears that my current 52 week challenge has it a wall and due to some confusion has been started again on a whole other page. Add to the confusion, the new host has not put up new weekly themes and I honestly did not make note of the old ones……this week I have skipped (I think the theme was Autumn).So instead here is a lovely pic taken in Autumn of the Wilson Botanic Gardens a few weeks ago.
On another note, yes I am still working on my digital art, I find I am showcasing more of it on Flickr, as I have to keep the images such low quality on WP. I sometimes find myself frustrated and get a little down (not depressed or anything just blah!) I see other people selling stuff, getting commissions, winning awards, winning competitions, and I’m like why am I getting like, no-where? Everyone keeps saying to just keep plugging away, believe in yourself, keep creating – it will happen……….but does it? I have no grand illusions, I know I will probably never get rich, doubt I can ever quite my job so I can photograph and create full time (I wish), I have NEVER sold a single piece, I have NEVER won an award or competition, I have entered a few……..am I looking in the wrong direction?
I know some of my stuff is good, some of it is even great, and I enjoy doing it, I will keep doing it and having fun, it’s just that it would be nice to have someone say, “Wow! I’d love to hang that on my wall” and pay me for it (Hell I’d probably give it away if they loved it that much, I’m such a schmuck lol) I love to get praise, any praise (don’t we all?). My problem is I am impatient, always have been…..I tell myself to slow down, enjoy the ride, enjoy what you are learning, you are a newbie and it won’t happen overnight. This is good advice and for the most part I am, I love what I am doing and I am doing it for fun, not profit. Then that tiny little voice in my head starts up; give up, you’re a hack, you’re a no talent wanna be. Over the years I have become adept at shutting up that horrible little voice, but it still occasionally whispers from the shadows. All art is subjective and it is only the creator who should truly understand and appreciate it, although others can enjoy it as well. So as long as I enjoy it, what does it matter? Well……..that’s what I tell myself. But there is someone deep inside me that craves appreciation, craves acceptance and needs to be seen and heard. Some people will say how can this be your art is great? Wanna buy it? lol.
It’s funny, I made a similar post on a closed artistic facebook group and everyone scoffed at me saying yeah sure ‘writers block’ (or whatever artists call it). I am still creating, thats not my problem. Infact someone said to me that I’m being silly and I should not compare myself to others, true. But there were a few who understood and empathized, could not do anything but understand………and the understanding is the BEST thing they could do. Silly isn’t it?
I’m not after pity or someone to say there, there it’s alright (I know some of you will, so THANKS on that score), just venting………..so thanks for listening to my pity party, I am sure I am not alone in getting frustrated with life. Next week I will be back on the happiness wagon.
So here is a couple of composites I created using freebie stock images from Clifton Lofthouse…………….cool stuff that man does.