Have you ever had that feeling you are right on the verge of something happening, something exciting, momentous and possibly even earth shaking? You can feel it crackle in the air like electricity; but you just don’t know what, when or where? If you look into the future and all you can see is a blank void, you can touch the precipice with your toes, but cannot feel it with your fingers. The excitement builds within, you feel like you cannot sit or stand still, your fingers itch to do something, anything; but you must be patient, you must calm yourself.
I wrote a post the other week that exciting things were happening, but it is again building to a crescendo, I can feel it……..or am I just imagining it? My mind is a hive of activity with thoughts, dreams, and projects…….sleeping is sometimes difficult, not from worry or stress but from excitement. Remember as a child the night before your birthday or Christmas……….THAT excitement? That is what I feel literally running through my veins………I don’t even know WHAT it is that is about to happen.
Maybe I am still on a high (non-drug induced) from recent events, maybe it is the excitement of future projects, which are just starting to come together, there are plans for so many things in the future, but I have just recently come out of a fog where I briefly burnt out, lost my mojo. Am I flaunting Icarus and daring to fly to close to the sun? Will I strive for greatness only to lose my mojo again? I cannot think that way, a self fulfilling prophecy; I think therefore I am……turns into, I worry I cannot create therefore I can’t. Over thinking things can be dangerous, turning molehills into mountains as the saying goes. Again I must calm my mind.
As a child, my school teachers told my Mother I was an excitable child; creative and imaginative, but sometimes over excitable……possibly nothing has changed? I find it hard to concentrate on just one thing, I want to work on so many projects at once, I must pick one and concentrate. Other projects, which are out of my control, seem to be taking forever, but I know in reality they are not. Perhaps I am just willing something to happen……something that is not even there yet? Perhaps I am just babbling as a way to calm my nerves and still my mind. I must think positively and without doubts……..I will keep you updated.