What a roller coaster…

Pre – warning there will be a possible rant in here somewhere!

Man this has been such a roller coaster of a week, such highs and such lows. It all started last weekend with the freezer door being left open………lost a lot of food, but the positive out of it was sharing with family and friends to eat up all the food so it did not go to waste. THAT’s a good thing, the fact that it costs hundreds dollars to re stock the freezer………not so good. 😦 🙂 😦

Then My Mum spent a night in the coronary ward, in Hospital; turned out all OK, but still very worrisome as I am sure you can all imagine. 😦

I received a notification that this month’s Living the Photo Artistic Life magazine is out and I saw that I have two of my Fine Art Nudes are in it, so that is very nice. My model Chey was quite hyped about it as well. 🙂

real life-1-2

I spent yesterday morning with my dog, Buddy, with an Orthopedic Surgeon, what we thought was a strain or perhaps a small tear in his ACL turns out to be a complete rupture and he needs a replacement, poor Buddy………and my poor wallet. This will be costly, painful and lengthy, he is nine years old, so too young to leave without surgery. 😦

🙂 I then opened my email and saw that I have received an in-depth Portfolio review from the wonderful Brooke Shaden, she does this every year and I was too scared last year to apply and too clueless the year before to even know to apply, lol. She said some wonderful things about my digital art, my ability for working light and colour and creating a story. She also made a comment along the lines about my sense of purpose was perhaps a little confused……was my style more photographic, fine art, collage, painterly. She made some constructive criticism about 3 pieces in particular. My initial excitement dimmed a touch. 😦

Once I cooled off and got over my initial angst (no one likes criticism, right?), I re-read her review and looked at my images, and she is correct; the lines are blurring in my style. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Am I blurring the lines on purpose or due to lack of purpose. I though perhaps my style was evolving and I was growing and moving as an artist, I am evolving as a photographer; perhaps this is a natural progression?  ;-P

Brooke’s email was so wonderful and full of such positive comments, I know her intent was not to scare me off, or even to make me second guess my own integrity, but instead to make re evaluate my mission, my purpose. So I have found myself at a loss. My style is quirky and mixed media and very difficult to pigeonhole, not that this is a bad thing, but WHERE do I want to take my art? I do portraits and landscapes and still life, concept, Fine Art. I know of late I am moving away from Landscapes, I still enjoy the travel and the photography, but it does not take up much in my digital art portfolio. I adore Fine Art Nudes and Light Painting, but again on a photographic level, not my digital art. Still Life is like my Meditation, my Zen…..so perhaps it’s more just for me than for the public, although many people say they adore my Still Life.

So that leaves me with my portraits and concept shoots, to be honest my heart is not in my portraits like it used to be, it helps pay the bills, but it doesn’t make my heart sing…not like my concept shoots. I still enjoy doing them, so don’t get me wrong on that score……….it’s just when I am working on a Concept Shoot, there is days, weeks even in the planning and I feel ALIVE; I need to do more of them.

Then there is my more recent collage work, I love it it is such fun, but again I guess it’s not my stuff……….a lot of it is bits and pieces created by someone else and I am just putting all together in a pleasing way.

Berkly Pack by Rebecca McMeen – Berkly in Paris by Me

I have also just opened up my Etsy Store….not much in it yet, but I’m working on more as we speak……….so that is very exciting. 🙂

Like I said this was going to be a bit of a rant, sorry and thanks for sticking with me if you got this far!

~ Julz