Stuff & Nonsense from an ex Smoker

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Weaving the Threads.”

Draft a post with three parts, each unrelated to the other, but create a common thread between them by including the same item — an object, a symbol, a place — in each part.

I will start where I normally start, I will just write and see what ramblings I come up with! I have recently had commented that I have taken to Blogging with great enthusiasm and gusto, I thought they were just ramblings from a deranged mind. You see I  think I do have a slightly deranged mind, driven that way by endless frustrations from a job I can’t seem to leave behind and a future I cannot seem to see as my crystal ball is broken and no one will fix it for me! See I am deranged. I used to smoke…………..and I took up blogging about the time I quit. When things or people at work would drive me to distraction I would just walk out and have a cigarette………oh how I crave the peace and quiet, the ME TIME. Everyone knew to leave me alone when I was having a smoke. Now instead of a smoke I write something, usually nonsensical on my blog. I started writing for myself, but hey people seem to associate with my mad ramblings; who am I to judge? This is my stress relief instead of a smoke, I just write. As a result some days I write more than others. I am happy to go through my day with only a quickly penned note and others I really need to rant – today (again) will be one of those rants.

I used to smoke, have done for a very long time, I was not a particularly heavy smoker, 10-15 per day. I had quit several times, but usually when something stressful came up I would pick up that fateful cigarette and start again – stupid I know. The funny thing is, the nicorette cravings you get over very quickly (sorry smokers, but it’s true). Even the doing something with my hands I got over relatively quickly (although I still stuff food I do no really need in my mouth! But I also did that when I was smoking?). it’s the ME TIME I really miss. I could go for hours without one, if I had my mind on other things. I didn’t live for smoking as such, but I did need that ME TIME when I was close to strangling someone. Don’t get me wrong I still feel like strangling people and I sometimes still go outside for 5 mins to calm my mind. But there was something about that Smoke Break which eased my mind and cleared my head. You see for some reason, I seem to be surrounded by Men who are all little boys, who cannot seem to think for themselves and always come to me to solve their problem! I am not their Mother.

I guess this brings me to part three. I am for some reason, seen as the Intelligent one, the problem solver. Sure I can multi task, and I am damn good at organizing things, but I am not the solver of everyone’s problems. I can barely solve my own at times. Also I do not think I am that smart……..sure I can string more than 2 words together to make a sentence, I can take photographs and paint pretty pictures, but maths and science are pretty much beyond me. I get the whole spatial awareness thing, but even when it comes to word puzzles………actually puzzles of any kind I am hopeless! Sure I like to read a lot and I love blogging, I am very happy when my mind is completely focused on something I like doing ie: editing photos, or taking photos, or even looking at some else’s work, but I do not think that makes me super smart. So why does everyone assume I am some great intellect? That is Moth and my Children, not me. So for a household full of smart people (and supposedly a company at work full of smart people) why do they always seem to do such dumb stupid shit? Which I guess brings me back to wanting to strangle someone!!!!!!!!! It’s nothing in particular, just things I think are obvious…………pick up the rubbish, put your dirty dishes in the dish washes, if you’re not sure – read the instructions, I have to tell someone more than 3 times to do something, or even how to do something simple……………..it frustrates the hell out of me. I cannot tolerate idiocy. Don’t get me wrong if they had a learning difficulty or some medical reason that I could cope with and treat differently, but supposedly SMART people who just don’t THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG I need a cigarette!

– Julz

P.S. No I did not have a smoke I just stood out side for a few minutes meditating.